Celestial marriage

Marriage is an IRL meme designed by Christians to ruin your life. You get nailed to an annoying whiney bitch or emo fag for the rest of your life unless you're smart and in it for the money. Gay marriage is only available in legislative states where same sex marriage is permitted. It is reserved for the pure of heart, that is straight people. Gays are gross, nobody wants them to marry, unless it's two hot chicks, that would be awesome.

Steps in Trailer Park Courtship and Marriage

1. Man meets a slut on the street
2. Woman notices that man has money, so she woos the pathetic man.
3. Man bangs up woman, who then sleeps with another guy who doesn't suffer from impotence. She then gets pregnant.
4. Man feels guilty, so gets engaged so he can help raise the child.
5. Man gets shackled to his new ball 'n' chain in a ceremony known as marriage.
6. Man finds out his bitch was cheating on her, so he pwns her, generating many lulz - but she was asking for it. He goes to prison and gets raped by Bubba. Lulz ensue.

Steps in Geek Courtship and Marriage

1. Basement-dweller meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fangirl in #buffy IRC channel
2. Basement-dweller is awestruck by Fangirl's uniquely romantical fanfiction
3. He sends her anonymous virtual roses from the LiveJournal gift shop
4. Fangirl gushes effusively to her friends list about her exciting virtual flowers, and wonders, at length and visibly, who they are from
5. Basement-dweller finally drops a subtle hint in his own LiveJournal
6. They take it to MSN and he asks for pictures plz and she sends pictures infected with internet disease
7. They announce they are in love to their respective friends lists
8. An online wedding is planned. The fact that he is a 13-year-old boy and she is an 80 year old Chinese man in panties seems entirely irrelevant.

Exit Plan

In every young mans life, he’ll wake to find himself with his girlfriend acting in a very 16-year-old_girl way. Vaguely through the worst hangover of his life, the sketchy memory of asking his girlfriend to marry him in some drunken mad plan to get a sex is dragged screaming to the forefront of his mind.

There are many elaborate plans to get out of this situation such as Suicide for example; however a simple fast and painless way to exit is to upload those Romantic movies you made together to yuvutu. Then over a romantic celebratory dinner explain that now you have the deepest love for each other, you have decided to share that love with the whole world making it a better place for your first wife to live.

See Also

• Married to the sea
• Marry Your Favorite Character Online