Mormon jokes

A man dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gates and takes him on a tour. They enter a long hall with doors lining either side of it.

Saint Peter opens the first door they come to they see the Hindus reading the Rigveda. The next door they open they see the Buddists reading the The Diamond Sutra. In the next room contains people of various Islamic faiths reading the Qur'an, and the next has Catholics reading the Bible.

Then they pass a door that Peter doesn't open. This rouses the man's curiosity and he asks, "Who is in that room, sir?"

"Well," Peter replies, "that is the room with the Mormons. Don't go in there; they think they are the only ones in heaven."

A father was concerned that his family had received only ten of the monthly home teaching visits the previous year.

He called one of his home teachers and said, "I love you brother, but how come you skipped some visits?"

The home teacher kindly replied, "You don't expect us to come on Halloween and New Year's Eve do you?"