Latter-day Saints
Originally an archaic spelling of the word "Moron" (mormon and moron come from a Latin word for "stupid"), because Mormons didn't mind people calling them Morons and adopted "Moron'" as the name of their religion for the lulz.
The principal belief in Mormonism is that the Faithful must wear special underwear, 24/7, even while having sex. If you should happen to die without your special underwear on, you will be re-incarnated as a Negro.
Many Baptists also wear the special Mormon underwear, "just in case."
The only thing Mormons have contributed in popular culture is that fucking stupid movie Napoleon Dynamite. Thanks to the Mormons you have to hear masses of people quoting some lame-ass child molester with a perm every day for the lulz factor.
e.g.
Stacy: DANG Mary, you TOTALLY gave me cancer. GOSH!!
Mary: Lulz Stacy, can you fetch me my chapstick? *Dies in hospital bed*
Morons are advanced in only one way; using women in the proper way, as breeding devices.
Contents
Mormon 101
<youtube>D7v_V8qSIIo</youtube>
The Book of Mormon
Template:Spoilers The holiest book in the Mormon faith is the aptly named Book of Mormon. Written by Joseph Smith, it is a widely accepted work of fanfiction loosely based on the Bible. In it, Jesus, after having risen from the grave, travels to the New World and tells the Indians about him. Casino Indians, not curry Indians. In the end, Jesus teams up with Cloud Strife, Goofy, and Inuyasha to defeat Satan, who has taken the form of Sephiroth. Jesus becomes Super Saiyan Level 6 and then sacrifices his life again and becomes part of the lifestream, but not before Joseph Smith gathers the power of the planet, or something like that. Then it goes off into how you can get to have your own planet if you're a good Mormon or something, but apparently all the planets are about as shitty as Utah is. There may also be a part where Joseph Smith fights L. Ron Hubbard to see who gets to be Jedi master.
The Book of Mormon was "revealed" to Joseph Smith on twelve golden tablets. When the mushrooms wore off, however, the tablets were nowhere to be found. This was the first of the Mormon Miracles.
Many people believe that the book teaches love and compassion to families but it really teaches the Kama Sutra to many Jedi masters and how to to make more money than a Jew in a week. They also teach how to get with Hillary Duff while she is sober and your wife is by your side.
What Mormons Do
Mormons do plenty of stuff, but a lot of it is unacceptable to most. First, teenagers may not date until they are 16 years old, and not only that, they run MorningStar Farms, a militant Vegetarian food company, whose products include the famous Soylent Green.
Mormon males also like to engage in having at least 100 wives, many of them children. One such Mormon was arrested in Las Vegas. Not only did this provide lulz, it proved that what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.
Many Mormons/Morons will go to the laundromat on Thursdays looking for new wives to help them wash their undearwear by hand. One Mormon by the name of Garry Hocking was known to have pimped 100 women at only 14 laundry mats.
Mormons have been known to run for president on the GOP ticket, despite the fact that they are clearly Mormons and thus have no business being outside of Utah.
Notable Fact
In the 1830’s, when men’s pants were first tailored with buttons visible down the front of the fly, the Mormon leader Brigham Young discouraged the population from wearing them, calling them “fornication pants.”
