Gay Mormon

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes casually called the Mormon Church, desires for all men and women to enjoy equal rights under the law. Thus, the Church has spear-headed changes in the law regarding gays, lesbians, transgender individuals, and bisexuals in Utah. However, the LDS Church is bound to uphold those commandments reinforced in these modern times from God to His prophets. God Himself has designed the family structure, as explained in the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible, and in modern scripture. That structure is to be legally married man and woman with children. Marriage is divinely ordained of God, and can be eternal, if higher temple ordinances are entered into and honored over time.

Along with a God-ordained family structure, the Lord has given and reiterated through modern prophets, the Law of Chastity, proscribing (or forbidding) sexual relations, except within the bonds of matrimony. This law is difficult for everyone on earth to abide by, including heterosexuals, many of whom will never marry, will divorce, or who will become widows and widowers, thus going for many years without intimacy.

The LDS Church decries anything that is immoral, or which threatens the family, including, but not limited to, pornography, abortion, extra-marital sex, co-habitation without marriage, easy divorce, and promiscuity.

A gay Mormon finds him or herself in a difficult position, since marriage to a person of the opposite sex may not be appealing, and the title "civil union," though granting all the rights of marriage, may not be seen as validating a truly committed relationship. Also, a homosexual union cannot be part of an eternal family, and homosexual behaviors are sins just like hetersexual intimacy outside of marriage. Sin without repentance locks a person (or couple) out of the holy temple.

A gay Mormon has to establish a secure testimony that the gospel and the Church are true, and then find a way to conform to the laws of God, in order to be a member in good standing. Many have done this, deciding that God and Christ are more important than gender issues. Some gay Mormons have openly shown their same-sex attraction, but have remained celibate, since the attraction itself is not considered a sin in the LDS Church. Others have found a good friend of the opposite sex and established a family.

There is counseling available in the Church and through associated groups, such as Evergreen International. Even counselors within the Church disagree on how successful counseling can be. It is obviously more successful with gays who are attracted to the same sex because of difficult past experiences, a dysfunctional upbringing, or difficulties during maturation that influence gender choice. Mormon counselors tend to favor the large studies (such as the Stockholm Study) that show that same-sex attraction is not completely inborn, but the outcome of a myriad of factors, including environmental influences. Latter-day Saint Apostles, in addressing gay Mormons, have emphasized that the attraction itself is not a sin, that no one in the Church should bully or deprecate gays, and that help is available.

Gay Mormons, like every one else, do not like feeling like they are imperfect, and some leave the Church, because they want to declare themselves "just fine, thank you," thereby justifying their behavior, lifting their self-image, but denying themselves the blessings of the gospel. The Lord has something to say about that:

They seek not the Lord to establish his righteousness, but every man walketh in his own way, and after the image of his own god, whose image is in the likeness of the world, and whose substance is that of an idol, which waxeth old and shall perish in Babylon, even Babylon the great, which shall fall (Doctrine and Covenants 1:16).

Obviously, a gay Mormon must accept that this is a religious issue. Without God, there are no eternal commandments, and whatever makes one happy, would then be justified. Mormons are not haters. But there is a God, and His laws are eternal. Though many Churches are finding ways to justify and not condemn homosexuality, this will not happen in the Mormon Church, no matter how hopeful the gay community might be for that to occur. It would take a revelation from God, and observing His dealings with mankind from the beginning, it appears impossible that He would change His mind on this issue. Rather, He has recently stated through His prophets in The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

Latter-day Saints want to avoid these calamities, and they also do not want them to befall the many wonderful people who are attracted to others of the same sex.